So I turn on diagnostic logging (which was off by default), on the same page, and here is the rather uninformative error I found deep inside sharepoint logs.

The call to SearchServiceInstance.Provision (server 'YourServerName') failed. Setting back to previous status 'Disabled'. System.ComponentModel.Win32Exception: OSearch ('YourSearchAcct') at Microsoft.SharePoint.Win32.SPAdvApi32.ChangeServiceConfiguration(String strServiceName, String strAccountName, SecureString sstrPassword, IdentityType identityType, Boolean bDontRestartService) at Microsoft.SharePoint.Administration.SPProvisioningAssistant.ProvisionProcessIdentity(String strUserName, SecureString secStrPassword, IdentityType identityType, Boolean isAdminProcess, Boolean isWindowsService, String strServiceName, Boolean dontRestartService) at Microsoft.SharePoint.Administration.SPProcessIdentity.ProvisionInternal(SecureString sstrPassword, Boolean isRunningInTimer) at Microsoft....

I swear - what the hell is the above error message useful for? Not much if you'd ask me. And no I didn't truncate the above error message - Thats about all that got logged. :-/

So what is the solution?

Make sure that you enter the account name for crawling and searching as "Domain\\accnt name" EVEN IF they are local accounts. Then you won't get the above error.

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